The Real Story

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Hello... Before you throw tomatoes, pumpkins, or any other item, let me talk.

So, yeah. I'm Pokey. Giygas's former assistant... You all thought, 'Pfft.. That big chunk of lard can go kick himself...' Well, as very little of you may know (Well, actually none), I am not all that evil.

It all started on that fateful night (About twenty minutes after Ness received his fate for the night), my dad told me 'No desserts for a decade!' was my punishment. Oh yeah, I was real mad... I would never taste strudel for ten years! I wanted dessert. I NEEDED it. You see, unlike other people, I can only digest desserts. Don't ask me why. I quite like this unique feature.

Giygas, who I heard Ness and that little bug thing talking about downstairs, sounded like just the guy who could get me all the dessert I wanted! BIG MISTAKE. He said he would be more than happy for me to 'come aboard'. Since when does a Universal Destroyer say such things as that? I knew he was either hiding something, or wasn't such a big shot. But it didn't matter; he presented me with all the dessert in the world; pumpkin pie, Strudel, chocolate pudding, jell-o... By then, I was drooling all over the place. Once I took the first bite of the kidney pie, I felt a surge... A surge of something... Something powerful...

I then realized it was the surge of something GOOD going down my throat. Eating merrily, Giygas, gave me strange looks, giving me more dessert.

'Eat up, little one...' He said in a shaky, yet triumphant voice.

I turned around to talk, but I gagged on the hunk of fudge I was swallowing, and stopped. Giving me more strange looks, he said in a scared voice, 'Are you... Feeling.. BAD?' He said, gulping. Turning around as I was taking a spoonful of ice-cream, I answered, 'Yes... Do you have a bathroom?'

For some reason, he felt very frightened of me. I then realized something: he was afraid of me!

Of course! How was I so stupid? ANYONE would be afraid of me!

I then felt strange after using the.. Er, 'emergency room'. I thought I still needed to go, but that wasn't it... I felt... BAD. I felt like pummeling Ness. Later that night I had such a dream; he also handed over more desserts.

Interested in seeing how annoying Ness and his friends, I did so, by numerous methods: Stealing Mr. Monotili's helicopter, taking away Apple Kid... Yeah, that was fun. But then, I WAS put under a spell.

We met up once more, in the Cave of the Past... Giygas was with me, and I felt strange, yet again... No, no, it wasn't hunger pains... It was me fighting for my sanity.

Would I save Ness from his impending doom? Or stay with Giygas and have all the dessert I wanted?

Pondering a while as my 'Spider Machine', as I called it, did everything, I then decided to stay with Giygas. But once I came upon this answer, Giygas was long gone. I looked up, and around, but he was nowhere.

Saddened, I decided to return to his hideout and pig out. But then I decided on congratulating Ness on his victory with a note... Which didn't turn out too well.

I had to stick by my letter; I left to go to Giygas's super-secret hideout, and stay there and pig out some more. People say I've gained a few tons; that's not true. Sure, I may be fat, my arms are lost somewhere in my... Er, 'chubbiness', I can't walk without breaking my legs... But hey, I get free dessert.

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