Why I Chose #3
by

Jim
Sunday, August 3, 2003

You may have heard some of these mine stories coming out of the Dusty Dunes Desert. The one that everyone likes is about Ness fighting all those moles. Thereís five of them overall, but it turns out all of us told him we were mole #3. Personally, Iím pretty ticked off at my co-workers for all of this. It was supposed to be an organized assault that nobody could withstand, not even Ness. But instead, it turned into this disorganized bar fight and it seemed like each of us had an identity crisis.

Originally, I was mole #1. But because everyone else was talking about switching numbers, I decided to get in on the act. Sure, I knew I was mole #1 and had the skill and strength to prove it. But letís face it, 1 just isnít a very lucky number. You know what they say. Thereís nowhere to go but down. I saw a few black cats sneaking into the mine. Mole #4 snuck outside and stole exactly 13 popsicles. And somehow, they had a ladder big enough for Mole #3 to walk under without noticing.

I picked #3 because I felt that if Ness was going to beat us, it would be because of luck. 3 is the classic lucky number, just ask anyone Irish. Let me tell you, that luck was coming into play there. I swung at Ness, got a few hits in and it looked like I could have pulled it off. But I guess Ness just had more luck since after a few bat shots to the head and some hard PSI from that girl of his, I just had to throw in the towel. Itís a shame since I was really the first one he went after. We could have pulled it off if I just stuck with #1 and at least half of the other moles stuck with their numbers. Not because of the luck but because it would have taken his mind off us. Instead of thinking ďtime to take care of the other fourĒ, he was just going through like I was the only serious mole there.

I donít regret taking #3. If the luck didnít help me, it didnít hurt me either. Besides, with all the talk about switching numbers, it seemed certain that someone else would have taken #1. The plan didnít work. But lots of plans didnít work and I think if anyone came close, it was the mole crew. The execution wasnít perfect, but all you can ask for is a little luck and we got that. Iím taking all the credit for it, though. I donít care if thereís no I in team, there was no team in the cave. Who knows, maybe that luck just wasnít meant for a fight. I think itís worth giving it another shot, so donít be surprised to see ďMole #3Ē on the next mayoral ballot.
 



 
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