In a surprising turn of events, Montreal Expos owner
Tony Tavares stated in an interview with ENC that
there is “a strong possibility that the team may move
to Eagleland.” The team has been rumored to move to a
variety of places, including Mexico City, Nashville,
Indianapolis, Columbus and Puerto Rico, but the
possibility of a Major League Baseball team in
Eagleland has never been brought up before.
General Manager Omar Minaya said, “The people of
Montreal just don’t appreciate some good baseball. Not
that we’ve worked hard to provide them with
consistently good baseball, but that’s beside the
point.” Minaya later stated that the team will easily
be able to afford a stadium that will match the venue
in Montreal and is looking to sell at least four times
as many tickets as the team did in Montreal. Minaya
also mentioned something about the Canadiens, which
had no relevance, but I guess you have to mention that
deadly Canadiens team whenever mentioning Montreal.
“You know, it’s guys like us that get left behind in
these type of deals,” hot dog vendor Mike Corino said.
“The guys selling stuff, the mascot, even the ball
girl. There’s not much work for a man with my skills.
When was the last time you saw some guy getting a
chance to throw hot dogs in a McDonalds or something?
The general audience isn’t ready for a man of my
stature.” Hours after the interview was given, Corino
retired. He will be remembered as a hot dog vending
legend. The Expos are expected to retire his uniform.
After all, they won’t be playing in that stadium so
nobody should notice.
Vladimir Guerrero was not available for comment, but
his agent suggested that Guerrero thought the move
would benefit the team. His former teammates have
mixed feelings about it. Paranoid pitcher Sun Woo Kim
complained about the distance between Montreal and
Eagleland, noting that if he leaves some of his stuff
in Montreal, he’d have to wait until the next October
to get the stuff back. Outfielder Brad Wilkerson and
Pitcher Javier Vasquez were both planning on leaving
the team in order to sign a contract with the Boston
Red Sox. “I want to play for them because they rock so
hard,” Wilkerson said. “If they don’t take me, I’m
just retiring since it wouldn’t be worth it to play
with anyone else after watching them.” Pitcher Rocky
Biddle would fit nicely into the Red Sox system with
Wilkerson and/or Vazquez, but was not available for
The team will likely be based in Fourside, with
frequent ticket sales going to citizens of Onett,
Twoson and other neighboring cities. While the farm
system will likely be the last part of the team to be
finalized, Onett and neighboring Twoson are expected
to receive minor league teams out of the deal.
Summers, Threed and even Dalaam have been mentioned as
potential farm team candidates.
Everything is speculative for now, but Fourside mayor
G.E. Monotoli is excited about the idea of having a
Major League Baseball team and expects talks to end
within weeks. Until then, baseball fever will continue
to sweep Eagleland as fans read up on the Expos and
baseball hopefuls work on improving their pitches and