Expos to Eagleland?
by

Jim
Sunday, November 31, 2003

In a surprising turn of events, Montreal Expos owner Tony Tavares stated in an interview with ENC that there is “a strong possibility that the team may move to Eagleland.” The team has been rumored to move to a variety of places, including Mexico City, Nashville, Indianapolis, Columbus and Puerto Rico, but the possibility of a Major League Baseball team in Eagleland has never been brought up before.

General Manager Omar Minaya said, “The people of Montreal just don’t appreciate some good baseball. Not that we’ve worked hard to provide them with consistently good baseball, but that’s beside the point.” Minaya later stated that the team will easily be able to afford a stadium that will match the venue in Montreal and is looking to sell at least four times as many tickets as the team did in Montreal. Minaya also mentioned something about the Canadiens, which had no relevance, but I guess you have to mention that deadly Canadiens team whenever mentioning Montreal.

“You know, it’s guys like us that get left behind in these type of deals,” hot dog vendor Mike Corino said. “The guys selling stuff, the mascot, even the ball girl. There’s not much work for a man with my skills. When was the last time you saw some guy getting a chance to throw hot dogs in a McDonalds or something? The general audience isn’t ready for a man of my stature.” Hours after the interview was given, Corino retired. He will be remembered as a hot dog vending legend. The Expos are expected to retire his uniform. After all, they won’t be playing in that stadium so nobody should notice.

Vladimir Guerrero was not available for comment, but his agent suggested that Guerrero thought the move would benefit the team. His former teammates have mixed feelings about it. Paranoid pitcher Sun Woo Kim complained about the distance between Montreal and Eagleland, noting that if he leaves some of his stuff in Montreal, he’d have to wait until the next October to get the stuff back. Outfielder Brad Wilkerson and Pitcher Javier Vasquez were both planning on leaving the team in order to sign a contract with the Boston Red Sox. “I want to play for them because they rock so hard,” Wilkerson said. “If they don’t take me, I’m just retiring since it wouldn’t be worth it to play with anyone else after watching them.” Pitcher Rocky Biddle would fit nicely into the Red Sox system with Wilkerson and/or Vazquez, but was not available for comment.

The team will likely be based in Fourside, with frequent ticket sales going to citizens of Onett, Twoson and other neighboring cities. While the farm system will likely be the last part of the team to be finalized, Onett and neighboring Twoson are expected to receive minor league teams out of the deal. Summers, Threed and even Dalaam have been mentioned as potential farm team candidates.

Everything is speculative for now, but Fourside mayor G.E. Monotoli is excited about the idea of having a Major League Baseball team and expects talks to end within weeks. Until then, baseball fever will continue to sweep Eagleland as fans read up on the Expos and baseball hopefuls work on improving their pitches and batting swings.
 



 
 Written by    Title  Date Published  Category  
 Jim
Written by Jackie
 Eaglelandian Idol  July 22, 2003  Music & Entertainment
Article reviewed by the Critic
 Jim
Written by Lier X. Agreate
 Avast, Ye Scurvy Cur  July 27, 2003  Adventure
Article of the Month of July 2003
 Jim
Written by Ghost Everdread
 The Hows and Whats of Being Dead  July 28, 2003  The Ghost Everdread Saga 1
Winner of the Mad Duck Prize for articles that RaSeb finds cute for some reasons
 Jim, RaSeb
Written by Chief Strong and Talah Rama
 Chief Strong vs. Talah Rama Debate Transcript  July 28, 2003  The Ghost Everdread Saga 3
 
 Jim
Written by Mondo Mole #1
 Why I Chose #3  August 3, 2003  Letters
 
 Jim
Written by G.E. Monotoli
 Sidebar Suggestions  August 13, 2003  Letters
Winner of the Teddy Prize for showing a constent level of 'Awesomeness'!
 Jim
Written by Jason
 Ness vs. Jason  August 18, 2003  Transcript
Manly Fish's Price for Humour! August 2003
 Jim
Written by Captain Chill (Police chief Elwood McCool)
 Summers Crime Log #1  Sept 7, 2003  Justice
Winner of the 'Tell all your friends about this awesome article!' badge.
 Jim
Written by Ness’s Dad, Freelance Reporter
 Former Shark Breaks Into Wrestling  Sept 7, 2003  Sports
 
 Jim
Written by Lier X. Agreate
 The New Wild West  Sept 16, 2003  Adventure
Article of the Month of Sebtember 2003
 Jim
Written by Captain Chill (Police chief Elwood McCool)
 Summers Crime Log, Week Two  Sept 16, 2003  Justice
 
 Jim
Written by Ness’s Dad, Freelance Reporter
 Expos to Eagleland?  Nov. 31, 2003  Sports
Manly Fish's Price for Humour! November 2003
 Jim
Written by Ness’s Dad, Freelance Reporter
 Lewis Challenges Ness  Jan. 11, 2004  Sports
 
 Jim
Written by Onett Burger Girl
 My Burger Brings All the Boys to My Yard  Jan. 30, 2004  Letters
Article of the Month of January 2003