Eaglelandian Idol
by

Jim
Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Fourside is widely recognized as Earthbound's version of the city that never sleeps. Fourside has got the bright lights (although nobody needs them with all that Truman Show inspired weather), the hardcore gridlock and of course, the enormous buildings. There are all kinds of people there. The normal hardened city folk are all over the place, the occasional tourist is roaming the city with the "I (heart) FS" shirt and everyone's favorite weekend attraction, the caffeine addicts, are passed out in and outside Jackie's Cafť. And of course, Fourside has the artsy folk weirding things out. Mostly music guys. With the Topolla theater, it should be no surprise that there are so many music lovers in the city. At one point, the theater even had two of the top acts in Eagleland booked - The Runaway Five and Venus. Most people wouldn't concern themselves with something so hard to choose from, but with The Runaway Five finally out of their Topolla contract, someone has to ask which act gave the folks more for their money. Did the theater make the right decision sticking with Venus or was that Runaway Five funk what they really needed? First impressions are an important thing, especially in the music industry. On first sight, The Runaway Five look really impressive. Or at least the two lead singers, Lucky and Gorgeous are. They've been compared to every famous duo out there. They've been compared to Mario and Luigi, especially with Lucky's moustache. They've been compared to the Blues Brothers for obvious reasons. Lucky and Gorgeous have probably even been compared to Laverne and Shirley. With all this comparison, why are these two remembered? They're remembered because they got style. Look at those suits. They'd look great on any guy, even Popeye Jones, the "ugliest man in the NBA". And those hats go perfectly with the suits. The sunglasses may be there for style, but they work. Big Willie Style's jealous. The two Runaway Five guys have style, but that's all they got. They got cool style, but compared to Venus and her diva fashion, they're vanilla. Plain as heck. Venus is sweet, sexy and stunning. That black dress doesn't sound like anything impressive, but she turns it into something better than what you'd end up paying a million for. The white gloves aren't creepy on her like they are on Michael Jackson. In fact, she even makes gloves sexy again. On stage, she really doesn't need a fancy outfit like Madonna to seduce the audience. It's all that much more natural for her.

On stage, Lucky and Gorgeous don't have much seduction going on and when they do, it's all in good fun. Their on-stage antics are what make their shows fun. It's like watching Gallagher but closer and with less splattering. They got the cool dance routines and plenty of fun routines they pull out between songs. The audience must have gotten a kick out of that bus stunt they pulled their last show at Topolla. Almost as much as that little bit they did with Venus that must have been the inspiration for the Roxbury Guys.

Looks can be deceiving, but Venus is all crystal clear. Just one look at her and the audience knows they're in for a wild ride and know they'll be getting some nice eye candy during Venus's performances. Venus doesn't go for the humor. That would simply ruin the mood. She's got every eye in that theater on her as she struts around singing. No fancy dance moves like the Runaway Five but she doesn't need them. That would draw too much attention from that sexily confident performance she pulls on a nightly basis.

Making the performers look good both on and off stage is important, but nothing's as important in the music industry as the music itself. The Runaway Five have a more old fashioned musical style, enjoyable by people of all ages. The music is fun, happy but just a little formulaic at times. But lyrically, these guys aren't just another Andrew WK. They got some decent lyrics and it's stuff any ordinary Joe could karaoke to. Sure, they may not be too thought provoking but they're fun just like the rest of the Runaway Five act. The Runaway Five are in music for the fun of it and that really makes them a good crowd pleaser.

While her personal style and singing style don't reflect it, Venus's music seems a bit more poppy and seems like it's geared towards a younger crowd. Even with the whole overly sexy thing going. That doesn't stop the older crowd from getting into her stuff. It really is enjoyable and seems a bit more varied than The Runaway Five's stuff. But she doesn't seem to be the best with words. I'm sure the words to her songs are sexy and maybe sexily thought provoking but nothing special. When the words get drowned out by the music and other distractions that badly, there's usually a reason.

So who is Fourside's most famous musical act? Venus sure does get the manly vibe going, but nobody puts on a show like the Runaway Five. The Runaway Five are the Jackie Chans of the music industry. They have the complete package. They got the humor, the music and even a little action. Those fifty dollars won't be missed, but I'm sure the greatest band in Topolla theater history was once they took off.  



 
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