Salutations to all of you who happen to frequent ENC, I am Anti-RaSeb. Hahahahahahah *cough, and this is my pencil. Say, “Salutations,” pencil.

Hi.

Dang, this pencil could never get his formal greetings correct. I never could figure out why. If you have any pencil medical experience, please tell me, I would be greatly interested about why there is pencil medicine. Anyhow, I should stop digressing and get to my very maniacal point of interest which I desired for this article and shall write about forthwith.

Have you ever heard of the Black Market? I suppose you have. Good, have you ever heard of the Grayish Market? No, I am not surprised, but you should know you are subject to it every day, and ENC is part of the Grayish Market. Do you know what the Grayish Market deals in? No, not rotting fruit or bombs, but just terrible news. Have you ever noticed how some ENC articles seem to have absolutely no point, like Most of Miss Hattaway’s Adventures or that aimless poetry the Saxophone Man submits? Jeez, it is like they are using ENC as a rubbish bin for all that they don’t what published. The Grayish Market also deals in articles that try to make a point indirectly or, as I prefer, subliminally. That’s correct, ENC is subliminal messaging! Want evidence, do you? Articles about Saturnian Scripts are selling you Thinkpads; Pokey in his “Chinese Dine Out” tries to stop people from eating at my Chinish food restaurant, which does serve hamburgers; and some conman (what is a conman) tries to convince you to think there is only one place to stay. The only good article I have bothered to read is “I Hate Mushrooms.” That is one of the few things that has proven ENC has some decent writers, but the rest pull it down with propaganda and grayishness. You darn grays.

ENC is the pineapple at the top of the Grayish Market, as the saying goes in the Grayish Market. Did you notice how they even hire slobs like Eddy? Seriously, that stalker is just an alga-collecting-good-for-nothing-nose-picking-half-brained-complaining-wiper-of-other-people’s bottoms. That man is so lazy that I wager he hasn’t even completed a sentence in his whole life. That is right.

I need to be sharpened, oww~.

Why did you write that in my article pencil, gah look what you made me write. This is precious stationary from Mommy dearest.

I apologize, he likes the sharpener (“That’s right, I said he” Miss Hattaway).

Now, back to my point, ha, get the pun? Point? Forget it.

ENC is at the top of the Grayish Market, mainly because of laziness. Laziness is what propels the market. In fact, ENC doesn’t even know that it is at the top of it. That is because they were too lazy to find it.

To show how lazy the editors at ENC are, they will probably let this article slip in. Eddy will say, “Well, it has words, so it goes in,” and RaSeb will say, “I have an anti-fan!” Watch and learn.

Yours truly,
Anti-RaSeb

AND ME THE PENCIL!!!