The Color
by

The Great Garlic
Wednesday, December 21, 2005

(A man steps to a podium for a speech with many reporters and journalists ready to accept the address. He said that which follows.)

“Today I shall tell you a tale of mystery, colors, and manipulating figure, devious to warmth. Here in this taciturn valley it should relate to a tale that you all can recall. Mine is the “Happy-happiests”; otherwise known as the Blue men. You know their reign having lived through its short period, but today I bring to you all the story that preceded all of that fracas.

I am Theodore Hindawics, but most just prefer to call me by Theo. Growing up in a family of massive affluence caused me to always be in the best of a situation, whether it be school, luxuries, or even menial tasks such as selecting my clothing. I never had a worry about my mind.

One morning as I was going to the first day of school, I was to be a freshmen; I met an awkward man carrying a large heavy sac. He stumbled and fell with the weighty burden upon him; he didn’t even whimper. The reason I spotted him was that his head shone a bright reflection of the morning sun. He was wrestling with it when I came over to assist him. He was wearing a weathered blue suit that was probably older than I. I strolled on behind him and lifted the bag which seemed to exemplify gravity.

He got up slowly and then noticed that I was holding his bag. His face became a bright red and he barked at me, ‘what do you think you’re doin’. That’s m’bag; now give it ‘ere.’ He ran frantically and tore the bag from me and ran off into the woods. I stood there baffled for a minute or so and continued on as if nothing had ever occurred.

After school I was going to my friend Harold’s house; most people call Harold ‘Lefty’ for no reason even though he is definitely right-handed. He was fairly tall with a well set build and bright blond hair.

When we ere close to getting to his house we ran into that lunatic that I had saw before school. Still carrying that large bag, Lefty couldn’t help but laugh at him. I actually began to chortle myself. Then he noticed we were actually having our time at his expense.

He bared his teeth, and his eyes turned red, at which point he proceeded to scream at us, ‘You, you, juvenile fools. Go ahead an’ laugh at me. O, you’ll see yer punishment. It will strike you like, like,’ he pause for a brief second and then with the full power of his voice yelled, ‘like lightnin’. Then who’ll be laughin’, huh.’ He ran off into the cave that no-one ever went into. ‘He must be nuts,’ I said to myself.

* * *

About a week had passed when I saw this man again. This time he had a large following of adolescent boys and a statue of gold behind him. I found Lefty, mesmerized, in this crowd. He was practically drooling as the odd blue man spoke. In fact the whole crowd there was drooling.

‘All give great avail to the majestic Mr. Carpainter,’ all of the crowd said in unison and a very monotonous tone. Had they said that a couple more times it would have seemed an evil chant. The odd blue man, who I now took to be this ‘Mr. Carpainter,’ waved at the entire mass of people. He stepped forward a bit and began a speech.

I don’t remember the speech, but the last image I have is the golden statue that was behind him. Every so often we would say that chant-like thing that I first mentioned. I was completely controlled by his words. They had melted in my ears.

* * *

The next day I met with Lefty and a mass of the people that listened to Carpainter the prior day. We had decided that we would definitely join his brigade, which would bring the ultimate happiness to the world, thus "Happy-happism", and we were discussing our first major issue, the color of our attire, as every major group has been identifiable by the color of their garb.

A short disheveled looking boy, called Ustess, said, ‘The color of our group most definitely should be yellow. People attribute the color yellow with smiley faces so it will follow in due pattern.’

Lefty barked back aggressively, ‘Fool! We shan’t have that color. It is humiliating; not a soul will view us in a respectable manner with that.’

‘Well, then what should we use,’ Ustess rebutted with a smug countenance.

We sat there for a short time pondering what we should use. Surely all, like myself, would approve of yellow for it was bright, but Lefty openly objected that. Many vacant eyes were squinting, wandering, and, in Lefty’s case, burning among us. A taller man with red hair and stretched arms stood.

‘How about red,’ he said calmly.

‘Again, stupid,’ Lefty yelled with a heavy drawn stress on the last word.

‘Blue,’ said an odd voice from the back, which was flat, kind, yet demanding. It was Carpainter, but Lefty didn’t notice that.

‘What,’ Lefty screamed with his voice squeaking, ‘blue! You know what people think of when they hear blue? Suffering, that’s what. People sing the blues to get rid of troubles and problems. We can’t take such a contradictory color. We’re the ““Happy-happiests””, remember?’ He finished saying that with red eyes and gasping for breath.

‘It’ll be blue cause I said so an’ I’m da boss ‘ere. Remember dat?’ Carpainter said, peeved, and also ending while gasping for breath.

After a slight pause we all yelled, ‘blue,’ and thus it was. Carpainter nodded and said, calmly, ‘blue it is, as it was meant to be for the Mani-mani told me. Blue-blue-blue-blue-blue-blue blooooo! We shall make the world happy with blue and the Mani-mani.’

My story is done. That was the tale of Mr. Carpainter and the “Happy-happiests”.”

‘Just a few quick questions sir,’ a journalist said with pen and paper ready.

‘I’ve said all I can. If I were to say anymore the… the CIA would have to hunt me down,’ Theo said in his final response.
 



 
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