Jeff and the Super Robot: Pallas Awakened
by

The Great Garlic
Monday, August 21, 2006

A memo to ENC on my progress with biotech from my diary:

I pound my heart away in my hammer day after day toiling so that this may become what the future has to offer; my spawning, my masterpiece, it shall allow me great abilities and strength, far beyond anything that could be attained by mere casual or average means. No, never, not even the best genetic enhancing and grooming paired with perfect training could compare, not in any time or any place within this vast universe. No, only God himself could topple this with His angels and His power. Nothing of the creation of the Earthly kind shall ever dream to come to this. Only the greatest and most psychotic mind could develop such a thing, and, hence, it seems to have exceeded even its own aims by going far beyond thought. Amazing, and it has complete coordination. Not a joint is off. Everything set so that each function that needs to be performed or that can be performed can be done with absolute ease, nothing close to a sweat on my brow, not like there is now because of my blood and iron. The turning point, maybe even the peak, has now been met. And there is only one thing remaining to do.

“Bleep, beep, spork.”

Yes, it is alive.

“I am biotech robot RoBio. I will subordinate to none aside from Jeff Andonuts, son of Doctor Andonuts.” The machine scans me. “Hello, Jeff, your iris is as gorgeous as ever. How may I be of the most humble assistance?”

Just like I had programmed, perfect!

“I have a whim to perform the first Neurobitic testing, if you may.”

“Surely!” and it went through a quick transfer. It was primed. I gazed at it like a child does quicksilver upon first sight. The hatch released and I leapt in.

Cords with highly acute electrical sensors found there way to my temples, backs of my ears, center of my forehead, crown, stem of my neck, and the location of the brain stem. The machine began to rev up. My pulse set the meter for its electrical one; my breath bound us, a man and a machine acting as one.

“You now have complete override, Jeff san.”

I ran to the horizon, to see what was at it, and there I found a cow, which really doesn’t matter, but, then, the cow disappeared.

A Blue Flash.

I see another, although less formidable, robot. “RoBio, tell me, what is that.”

“Bleeeeeeeeeeeep, it is a Cnorizaonthian bio-directed robot. Cnorizaonth is a far away planet, which seeks to steal every cow on Earth. They do this for unknown reasons. However, they have not figured that cows reproduce with bulls, so they are always back for more cows. I suggest strongly that we engage it”

Shoooooom.

It was off. “Get ready, we’re giving chase RoBio. You take over so that we can have smoother interstellar travel.”

“Affirmed” and we shot off into the sky in hot pursuit of the sinister Cnorizaonthian Empire and their cow-pilfering culture. We shall stop them.

That is all RoBio and I can offer, so, until next time, make sure RaSeb keeps his desk clean so that he can find the memos I leave for him. This will not be my last memo to RaSeb, so make sure he keeps it really clean for the continuation of this.
 



 
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