Bar Brawl
by

Firestorm Chamelion
Monday, March 28, 2005

Police recieved reports of a disturbance at the newly re-modeled Chaos Theatre here in Twoson Wednesday morning at 1:45 AM. When police arrived at the scene, it was said to be total mayhem. A bar brawl had taken place between 4 Twoson men and 3 Fourside men, plus one man on vacation from Summers. Three of the Twoson men and two of the Fourside men claimed that the man from Summers, Mike Tough Guy, started the brawl when Guy was complaining about the quality of Eagleland coffee. One of the Fourside men, a coffee addict who wished to remain annonymous, was offended by this act and disagreed, as Guy said, in a very unpleasant manner. Guy was reported to have gotten out of his chair and poured the scalding coffee over the addict's head. The addict's friend from the same city, George Montague, was claimed to have smashed a beer bottle over Guy's head to defend the addict. Guy then grabbed his chair and broke it over Montague's head, who unfortunantly was not wearing his hard hat. Then, a wily Twoson man, Mr. Everdread, joined the fight due to his penchant for violence. Two old drunks from both cities and a Hippie from Twoson were also reported to have participated in the brawl. Montague was taken to the Twoson hospital to have stitches placed in his head from the chair shot, since the spot on the chair where he was hit had a loose nail sticking out. The other seven men were taken into custody and a court hearing is schedueled to take place a month from today. The Theater's manager, Mr. Poochyfud, is claiming no responsability charges for injuries or court expenses. Poochyfud claimed, in interview with reporters: "I was home sleeping at the time. I have a right to sleep, too, you know. I can't watch the **** place all the time.. Then the cops called and told me to get over the theatre as soon as I could." Poochyfud claimed, in the police report: "Hey, things happen. Am I happy about it? No. Am I going to gripe and complain about it? No. I have no plans to close the theatre and buisness will be scheduled as usual. I have no further comments at this time." We will have more information on this story as it develops.
 



 
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