Frank: Hello, everybody, we are here at the Fourside Arena, and we thank those of you here live and those of you watching throuoght Eagleland. Are we all ready for yet another night of bone crunching, spore spreading, caranium crashing, and soul-stealing carnage on Friday Night SMAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?? I'm your host, Frank Fly, along with my brodcast partner, Mr T!
T: That's right, Fly. I am pumped up. And I'd be in that ring right now and be pittying all those fools if I hadn't sprained my ankle.
Frrank: For all of you first time watchers, Fiday Night Slam puts five competetors in an arena, which is loaded with weapons. The goal is to be the Last Man or Woman standing, no matter what the cost, because it could be their lives!
T: Let's go down to the floor and meet our competetors!
Frank: Introducing first, from Winters, he is popular in Snow Wood Boarding School, a young man who proves that magic is no match for science, coming equiped with a versitile array of tools, it is none other than Maxwell Labs!
T: Comin' out next is the outlaw from Twoson with a penchant for jumping off roofs, a dangerous criminal known as Everdread!
Frank: Now coming out next, an unpopular drunk from the city of Fourside, an old geezer who just walks around beating up innocent children, it's the Annoying Reveler!
T: The fool coming out next is Carpainter. He is a deranged man known for trying to start a cult to paint everything blue!
Frank: Our last contestant comes from Summers, it's the Tough Guy, coming out in his sporty convertable! Folks, ARE WE READY?! (The crowd roars in approval.)
T: Let the Mayhem begin!
Frank: Tough Guy is getting back in his Convertable! What's he planning? Escape?
T: It doesn't look like he's going to try to escape... he's going to run over Maxwell! (Maxwell hops out of the way, the car crashes into a wall, it is totaled)
Frank: Man, that was one nice car. Luckily for Maxwell, it didn't hit him.
T: Oh, jeez! The Reveler just broke a beer bottle over Everdread's head!
Frank: He's out cold, and so is Tough Guy. He went right through the windsheild of that nice car!
T: Oh, man! Maxwell has taken out his signature portable chainsaw! Look out, Carpainter! (Carpainter quickly grabs a pair of nunchucks on the ground and twirls them around)
Frank: I didn't know Carpainter knew how to use nunchucks!
T: Well, Maxwell ruined that plan! He cut the nunchucks in half!
Frank: He just did the same to Carpainter, man that's gruesome!
T: It seem Everdread has recovered, and he just poked the Reveler in the eyes!
Frank: He has found a ladder. What will he do with it? (Everdread smacks the Reveler with the ladder, Reveler falls.) He's down! Nowm Everdread is setting up the ladder next to his fallen body, it has to be fifteen feet long! He's climbing it!
T: Everdread has something not nice in mind for the Annoying Reveler, I can assure you!
Frank: He jumped off the ladder and butt bombed the Reveler! I think his heart just popped out! He's dead! What a live night this is!
T: The Tough Guy has recovered! He's going to get Maxwell for ruining his car!
Frank: Tough Guy is using his strewngth to pick up that stop sign! Watch out, Max! (The stop sign cracks against Maxwell's skull,)
T: If he walks out of here, he'll be feeling that in the moring. I pity that fool.
Frank: Everdread is back up! He's going after the Tough Guy!
T: My goodness, he's biting him! Everdread is biting Tough Guy!
Frank: Tough Guy reverses! He's dragging Everdead to his Limo. Opening the trunk.
T: What's that fool doing?
Frank: He has jumper cables! Owch! He clamped them on to Everdread's tounge! That's gotta hurt!
T: Now, he's dragging the cables to the hood and putting the on the car battery! He's getting in! Man, what a live night! Tough Guy is transferring Everdread's power to his car! Everdread is getting electrocuted!
Frank: He's dead. Everdread is dead.
T: Maxwell is back up! He has a nail gun!
Frank: He just shot five nails into the head of Tough Guy. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's winner is Maxwell Labs!
T: Yes, Maxwell has left tonight with the greatest prize: his life!
Frank: Thanks for watching, everybody. I'm Frank Fly.
T: And I'm Mr. T!
Frank: Good night, everybody!