I’m innocent
by

Firestorm Chamelion
Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Hello, ENC. I’m writing to you because I am sure you’ve heard about the recent Bad Key Crisis. The truth is, I’m innocent. I admit to making the Bad Key Machine, but that was years ago, and I only created one. I created it because I often locked myself out of my office and students at the boarding school would frequently come to me with bent keys to their lockers. I figured if I could invent a device that would open any lock, I could be a better help to the younger students. The machine actually helped save the world from the clutches of Giygas, so it’s a good thing. But I did not sell my invention over the internet, I’m too smart for that. Now, you’re probably wondering how this happened, then. Let me explain. If a person somehow obtained my original prototype, they could have studied it and made duplicates, then they sold them online. All this talk about me being a “mad scientist”, “criminal”, and “sick freak” is a bunch of bull. That’s the problem with people these days. Whenever something goes wrong, they immediately blame the first man on the scene. Instead of pointing fingers at me, why not point fingers at the people who are using them to break into homes and businesses? I’m a genius, and, as such, would never stoop to such a low level of villainy. Yes, it is tearing me up inside to hear of my invention being used in such criminal manners. The weight of the guilt I have is heavy enough to crush my soul, and your accusations towards me aren’t helping that at all. I don’t expect any of you to believe me. After all, I’m ‘craaaaaazy!’ I’m a ‘maaaaaad’ scientist! I should be ‘locked up and never released!’ Bah, you’re all just jealous of my genius. You look upon me and say, “Gee, I wish I could be as smart as that Labs fellow who created the Bad Key Machine that someone used to rob my house. But I’m not, so I’ll just hate him forever. Better yet, I’ll blame him and get him arrested! I’ll turn everyone against him!” If you think such thoughts, then quite frankly, you deserve to be robbed I’m afraid to say. I’ll even let you in on a little secret: the scientists who are working on a counter measure to the Bad Key machine--it’s us. Labs’ Labs, Inc. is working on a solution, and you can expect it to come out in the near future. I’m innocent! Please believe me!
 



 
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