The ONLY Place to Vacation
by

Firestorm Chamelion
Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Hello, I am a simple conman, who has lived with the monkeys in Deep Darkness for a couple of years, and I’ve noticed not a lot of people come here. I wish to change that. Why, you ask? The answer is simple. If you come here, I can scam you in various ways and make some money You can see the beauty of a land where no humans besides me and my three associates have ever lived. Despite the name “Deep Darkness”, it is actually quite a peaceful place if you stay away from the deep parts. The monkeys here are very friendly and will give you things if you’re nice to them. They will also let you stay the night in their cave if you have no place else to sleep. (Why do they do this? FREE stuff and FREE hospitality WTF is with these monkeys? Don’t they know money makes the world go round?) Uh, where was I? Oh, yes! The climate here at Deep Darkness is usually warm and humid, and some parts of the swamp are even safe to swim in. Another good reason to come to Deep Darkness is the wildlife here. Most of the wildlife is gentle. Some are bizzare, like the living piles of gunk, which come in small and large sizes. These are nuisances and they all have a bad habit of burping on visitors. Another animal that is but a mere nuisance are the pitbull slugs. They are slow and easily killed, but they attack in large numbers. But some, like the demonic petunias and zap eels, are dangerous. Why is that good, you ask? If you are injured, you can come to me for expensive health care You can have a great adrenaline rush, therefore adding on to a sense of awesome adventure! Not to worry, though. Most of the dangerous wildlife exists beyond the deep ends of the swamp, which are places I do not recommend you go, as the deep parts of the swamp will suck you in. Still not good enough for you? The Deep Darkness is home to the delicacies known as magic truffles. Magic truffles are said to increase your mental capacity and are quite good when dipped in chocolate, making these mushrooms sell for very high prices. There are also many legends about Deep Darkness. For instance, the one about the people who invade Scaraba for their pyramid’s treasure. That story is a bunch of bull, as nobody, besides me and my associates, has ever lived here. A more interesting myth is that of the legendary Manly Fish and his brother. They’re said to be great warriors who have protected the waters of Deep Darkness for thousands of years. Whether or not these fish actually exist or not is a mystery, but it’s worth a look, right? Another legend is of the Tenda people. Hidden in Deep Darkness is said to be an entrance into the Tenda people’s lair. It is said if you can find your way to their lair, you can make it into the even more mystical and legendary Lost Underworld, where dinosaurs are believed to exist. Once again, there is no scientific evidence to prove any of these myths. All that being said, why not camp out here at Deep Darkness. You will find me and my associates, which are the doctor, the arms dealer, and human ATM machine here; we will be glad to scam assist you in any way we can. (For a price, of course.)
 



 
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New!