Why I Lost
by

Firestorm Chamelion
Tuesday, April 5, 2005

I was feared once. I was dreaded, hated! Hated and feared by pyramid explorers everywhere! I had such a good reputation that no one DARED to enter the Mystic Pyramid for 1,000 years for fear of what I'd do to them. I went into a deep 1,000 year sleep before I encountered the next group of intruders. They were a bunch of puny kids! Normally, I eat eat kids like them for breakfast along with a side order of Scarabian coins and platinum bands and ask for seconds! But, these kids... they HUMILIATED ME!!! THE GREAT AND FEARED GAURDIAN GENERAL!!! I was NEVER beaten until they came along, and they beat me senseless. I am ashamed that my reputation had been crushed by those lousy brats. However, like I said, I had just woken up from a 1,000 year sleep. Think about it. If you had been sleeping for one thousand years and had to fight as soon as you woke up, would you win? NO! I was so weary, I couldn't see! All I could do was swing my arms around wildly, not seeing where I was swinging. I was not even close to %100 during that fight, and they used bazookas and everything else. It just wasn't fair. If I had been awake the past millenium, I would have turned those kids into pretzels and ground them to dust! I just wanted to set the record straight for those of you who think I am a pushover. I've got my pride, I'm a man. In fact, I'm such a manly man that I can bring myself to admit defeat which is something none of you humans can comprehend. You blame your loses on carelessness and low experience levels; I call a spade a spade. I am honorable! YOU are the weak ones, NOT me! I swear, I will never sleep again, that was my one flaw! I AM INVINCIBLE! So challenge me, if you dare...
 



 
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New!